From my late teens until recently, around four months ago, I felt a deep emptiness, with depression and anxiety. I didn’t know what to do with my life. When I got to my mid-twenties, I tried to numb it all in lots of ways – things like alcohol, or wanting a certain car, or a certain amount of money. I was always looking in the wrong places, thinking these things could bring me satisfaction and fulfilment, but they never did. There were times when I wanted to end things, I couldn’t see the point of living, even with all the blessings around me.
But four months ago, on July the 4th, something told me to get on my knees and cry out to God. I’d prayed before, but never like this! I cried and cried, begging Him to release me from the pain I was going through mentally, physically and spiritually – not only for me, but for my family around me too. With everything I had in me I begged God for His forgiveness of all my wrongdoings and all the hurt I’d caused people, and so on.
The next moment I felt this overwhelming warmth, peace, love and kindness, and I knew that all I’d ever yearned for to fill that emptiness was actually God Himself. I needed to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, that’s where fulfilment really lies. I know now today that right then God had graciously forgiven me and given me His Holy Spirit. What a gracious and merciful God we have! After all the wrong I’d done, He forgave me. I’m so thankful for our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ who came to earth to die for my sins. Where once I was dead, He gave me life. Where I was once in darkness, He gave me light. And where I was once empty, he fulfilled me.
Since then, God has been working wonders in my life. I have such a disgust for the things I once did. I’m in work now when I wasn’t before. Every morning I wake up and thank Him for my first conscious breath of air and the blessing and gifts He gives every day. I go to work with joy because I could do everything for him. I never thought there was a way out of my emptiness, ever, but Jesus showed me that He is what we need. He is everything we are missing in our lives. If you haven’t already, seek Him with all you have from your heart and let Him bring you His joy and peace that you never knew you could have.
Praise be to our God, King of kings and Lord of lords. All the glory be Yours, always and forever. I thank You Lord for giving me life and making me the person I thought I could never be.